Barry Edward Hopkinson

   Cause of his death was Heart Failure/Diabetes.

  General Information:

Eulogy of Barry Edward Hopkinson

Thank you all for coming today to remember to life of Barry Edward Hopkinson.

Summarizing 83 years of a man's life on this earth is no small task; especially when you are trying to capture the essence of a man like Barry.

I remember very well the time that I first saw his face almost 23 years ago....his type was alien to me. So silent, yet apparently paying full attention. Soft spoken to the degree that his words held that much more weight and meaning when they were uttered. Powerful and intelligent. When Barry did speak up, everyone listened....almost like his thoughts and opinions were little gifts; rewards for peaking his interests. How mysterious and wonderful these behaviours were to see. Not a common man at all. Barry seemed content to dwell in the background yet he was still revered and respected as a man in charge and in control of himself and what was happening around him.

At first sight and initial meeting you would say that he was a big man whose facial features and physical stance exuded strength, pride and determination. These observations were true to fact. My Mother once told me she thought Barry was "movie star handsome" - in a 1950's sense of course. Once you would start to know Barry better you would discover that the strength of his character, the confidence in his eyes and the pride in his gait were earned and learned by living a life that involved great love, great loss, great responsibility, rational thought, dignified coping and an iron will that did not crack under pressure.

The saying "still waters run deep" seems fitting when one thinks of Barry. He was not a man without opinion, in fact very much the opposite; he just didn't see the need to readily spout his words and feelings without valid reason. If anything Barry was a humble family man who possessed a gentle nature and a wonderfully dry English sense of humour.

Most of us know the kind of man that Barry was. In preparation for this speech I was given many pieces of information about Barry, but I had great difficulty seaming them all together to form one big picture that might capsulize the man himself. Like all of us, he was many things to many people and we will all remember him in our own preference; viewing him in the light that we loved him best. In order to make this speech authentic, truthful and passionate I found that I needed to recall Barry for who he was to my family and what he represented in our lives.

When Barry first entered the life of my Aunt Peg in 1987 it was known that he had already been a devoted husband and Father of four children. It was also known that he had endured and survived the premature deaths of his wife Eileen and their second child Brent. Such loss would have emotionally crippled or embittered a lesser man, at least that's what we thought. We were very curious about this man, intrigued you might say. Upon meeting Barry in person we were surprised to discover he was quiet, reserved, respectful, worldy, adventurous and gallant. He surely was different than we were. Of course we too could be respectful, worldly, adventurous and gallant.....it required effort on some of our parts, but we could be like that if necessary...in short spurts. But quiet and reserved wasn't really our game as a clan...and this was the portion of Barry that demanded deep thought for us. What did we have to offer him aside from the dismal future of being ringside to our lack of reserve and our very real and demostrated inability to be silent?? He was in great contrast to us and Aunt Peg we felt. Then it started to make a lot of sense. His desire to not clog up the airwaves with his words fit in very with our desire to fill our spaces with noise and chaos. It was a match made in heaven it seems...and it was.

Barry was held in the highest respect by my family mainly because he never passed judgement upon our thoughts, deeds and words. He sat contentedly through countless hours listening to the disorganized spewing of my families voices - this is surely the mark of a great man, in our circle at least. When he did speak he knew exactly what to say, who to say it to, and when to say it. Organized, thoughtful and precise.

He fit us very well and we all took to him in a very short time. How could we not love and cherish the man that never let my Aunt down, the man that made her so very happy, the man that filled her days with love. I am confident is stating that we adored him...and when I say we, I mean all of us. Barry, and his family for that matter, became intertwined with ours...harmoniously and without effort.

I recall no anger, I remember no disagreements, I have not one story of Barry that involves any callous statement, thought or deed on his part. In 23 years nothing negative comes to mind. It doesn't get much better than that does it?

What did Barry love? He loved his family most and he loved my Aunt Peg. He also loved to travel, take long drives in the country during the seasons of spring, summer and fall only. Barry was not a fan of the snow and cold weather. He loved steam trains, classic cars, the Three Stooges, making goofy faces whenever his photo was being taken and he loved life. He loved life enough to stare into the eyes of death more than once and live to tell the tale.

What did Barry not like? He disliked modern packaging most from what I recall. The only time I ever saw him lose his temper was one time when he was attempting to open a pill bottle the right way unsuccessfully - eventually he grit his teeth and smashed the bottle open with a hammer...successfully obtaining his dosage but destroying the bottle itself. I will also assume that he would have disliked those who took things for granted, those who gave up on their desires, those that shirked responsibility and those that fall and never get up.

When I think of Barry two words come to immediate focus and primary thought - those two words being dignity and stamina. He lived an often times hard life, one that required stamina and he survived many personal losses while remaining dignified. It was his stamina and dignity that allowed him to depart this realm on his own terms, when he decided enough was enough.

Barry left us basically by his own decision, not because his spirit was weak and conquered, but because his body, something he could not control, was losing the battle. His dignity could not allow his and his family's eyes and hearts to bear witness to the inevitably ugly endgame his body had in mind. A decision of this calibre requires great strength and unfailing stamina.

Barry was, and always will be a beacon of character to those who knew and loved him. His words were few, his actions spoke volumes. He leaves behind a legacy that is testament to his heart. Worthy of all the praise that can be heaped upon his name, he is surely to be spoken of with great love, happiness, respect and reverance. I know I speak for all of us when I say we loved him and that his presence among us shall be sorely missed.

Jim Harris October 31, 2010

Barry married Margaret Ann Harris, daughter of John Dickinson Harris and Mary Isabelle Granger, on 12 Sep 1987 in Barrie, Ontario. (Margaret Ann Harris was born on 18 Jul 1936 in Toronto East General Hospital, Toronto, Ontario.)